Recovering Perfectionist

My dad is a perfectionist. My sisters are perfectionists. And I am a perfectionist. I wore this badge proudly for the first 30 years of my life. I prided myself on being neat and organized and living by the creed, "if you can't do it right, don't do it at all." I can't tell you the number of times I have taken forever, got frustrated, or given up completely on a project because I couldn't get it 'perfect'. Though I know many women who consider perfectionism something to brag about, I have come to realize that this is not a good quality to have. No matter how hard I try, I will never be perfect. There is only One who is. For me to think that I could even have a small portion in perfection is simply prideful and foolish. Who am I to try to presume to be able to do anything apart from the Holy Spirit?! As Spurgeon said it, "You have too frequently had a view of your own heart to dream for a moment of any perfection in yourself." Sure, God has given me some natural talents, and He wants me to use those talents for His purposes and glory. But, many years of striving to attain standards that just aren't humanly possible has led me to need the words that God spoke unto the apostle Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." and agree with him when he said, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9) Think about that for a second. When I fail, God's power rests upon me. I can be closer to God in my weakness than I ever could be any pathetic attempt at perfection. Which is a good thing, because the more I try and try to attain it, the more I realize how much I fall short. But the really good news, is that there will come a day when I actually will be able to reach the level that I have been yearning for. One day I will be free from fault, weakness, and sin. Then and now, instead of pridefully looking for find perfection in myself, I will look unto the "Son who has been made perfect forever." (Hebrews 7:28)


Dawn